


Probability of an Existential Catastrophe

by Annakovsky



Category: Veep
Genre: Apocalypse, Asteroid - Freeform, F/M, Flash Fic, Pre-Apocalypse, extinction event
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-24
Updated: 2014-09-24
Packaged: 2018-02-18 14:08:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2351165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annakovsky/pseuds/Annakovsky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An asteroid is about to hit the earth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Probability of an Existential Catastrophe

"C'mon, stay," Dan says, reaching out for her sleepily as she gets out of bed. His eyes are only half open, and his bare chest looks tan in the early morning light coming in the window. He's probably been spending his time sunbathing in between orgies.

Amy's head hurts, and she's not in the mood. "Some of us still have to go to work, Dan," she says, trying to find where her underwear went to. Fucking hangover, fucking Dan, fucking bad decisions last night that she can't afford.

At that, Dan looks a lot more awake, and a lot more aggravated. He sits up. "Did you just say that like I'm on fucking vacation?" he says. Yeah, he looks less aggravated and more furious, that barely controlled fury that Dan's been not-so-subtly holding in for the past three weeks suddenly surging to the surface. Dan's always been bad at keeping his emotions reined in.

"You are on vacation," Amy says. "I'm going to be late, have you seen my other shoe?"

Dan snorts like she's lucky he doesn't murder her where she stands. "Yeah, vacation," he says. "Forgive me if, like everyone else in the world, I don't see the point of going in to work when 7 billion of us will be dead in a month."

"More people than that," Amy says, reaching under the bed where she's finally spotted the shoe, no help from Dan. "The spaceships only hold 50,000."

Dan makes a noise like he can't believe her. "You're such a bitch," he says. 

"I know," she says. She really is being awful right now, but what's she supposed to do? Act sympathetic? Apologize? Like, uh, sorry, Dan, but only essential personnel and scientists and specialists got spots on the ships, and even Selina could only take one staffer, so sorry you're just the junior communications director and not the chief of staff? It's not like Dan would like it any better if she pitied him, and it's not her fault that pretty soon Dan will be dead and she won't.

Plus, there's still two weeks before the ships leave. She's not going to waste time getting upset until the last minute.

She starts buttoning up her blouse, preparing to do the walk-of-shame home to shower and change before work. There's a lot to do when you're one of the few people still working on the survival of the human race. "Anyway, whatever," she says practically. "Probably we'll land back on earth in three years when all the asteroid dust has settled and it won't even be habitable anyway, and then we'll turn to cannibalism and slowly starve to death, so probably you're better off."

Dan is staring at the ceiling and shaking his head. "Thanks," he says. "That makes me feel way better."

"And hey," she says. "Maybe the Asteroid Winter or whatever they're calling it won't be so bad and you'll make it through and be here waiting when I get back."

"Right," Dan says. "And we'll live happily ever after. In my warlord hut where I live with the heads of my enemies on stakes outside."

Amy actually laughs a little, straightening her skirt. She thinks she's actually presentable enough to get home without looking too obviously hungover and post-coital. Not that it matters, since none of these people will be around to remember judging her, but still. "I'll only say this once: the only way I will ever live happily ever after with you is if you're surrounded by the heads of your fucking enemies," she says.

"Deal," Dan says. He rolls onto his side, yawning. At least one of them can go back to sleep. "What time do you get done tonight?"

Amy shrugs. "Late, probably. What are you going to do today?"

Dan shrugs. "I don't know. Jonah said he could get some coke."

"Jonah?" Amy says. Ew. "Jesus, that's disgusting. Go smoke pot with Mike if you're that desperate."

Dan rolls his eyes. "I really want coke and it's like impossible to get at this point," he says. "You can make decisions about what you'll do with your last month to live when you have one, leave me the fuck alone." 

Amy laughs a little. "Yeah, okay," she says, moving towards the door. "Don't suck Jonah's dick or anything."

Dan snorts. "What did I _just say_ ," he says.

For a second Amy's not sure if he's serious or not, but when she stares at him Dan laughs. "Please, if I wanted to fuck a dude I could get one way hotter than that."

Amy narrows her eyes at him. "Riiiight," she says. 

Dan yawns again and stretches, his body lean and healthy and alive under the sheets. "Get lost," he says. Amy can see the asteroid out the window behind him, just looking like a star, but bright enough to see in the daylight now. It feels strange, seeing the two of them at the same time. "You're going to be late."

"Yeah," Amy says, turning to flee before she gets any emotions or anything. "Um, I'll text you tonight if _I_ get desperate."

There's a girl crying on the sidewalk in front of Dan's building, and crime scene tape at the end of the block where it looks like someone's jumped out a window, and Jesus, does the end of the world have to be so goddamn depressing? Amy's so bored with it and she's still stuck here for two more weeks. The ships can't leave fucking soon enough, if you ask her.


End file.
